I have a problem. My favorite guy’s birthday falls on day 6 of my 7-day detox… I feel that I must celebrate with wine and dessert since it’ll be a private party for two. Would it be completely unreasonable to do this detox for the 5 days (I started today), stop for that one day and then finish up the program? Or would it be better to just continue the detox program as usual and just have that one bad meal? I know, this is a little weak but I didn’t want to put off starting the cleansing process… remember, I’m dirty!

Here’s the 411 on the cleansing program:

Name: 7 Day Total Nutritional Cleansing Program with RevitalX & Detoxitech
Brand: Natural Factors
breakfast: water and fruit smoothie with powder supplement
snack: fruit or vegetables, water, almonds or sunflower seeds (if still hungry)
lunch: water, smoothie with powder supplement, pill supplements
snack: fruit or vegetables, water, almonds or sunflower seeds (if still hungry)
dinner: simple meal of lean meat with natural seasonings, steamed veggies and brown rice, water

I can’t believe I just said that to my boss.

The conversation was completely innocent, of course. We were discussing why I’m starting a seven-day detox/body cleanse program tomorrow and that’s the honest answer: I feel dirty on the inside. It’s hard to explain, really, but I’ve felt more tired lately and, without going into details, my digestive system is out of whack. I’m hoping that cleansing my system will change all of that.

I’ve half-heartedly detoxed before, meaning that I’ve taken the pills but didn’t follow the recommended eating guidelines. I was more careful with what I ate but still drank coffee/caffeinated drinks and, yes, alcohol. That pretty much voids all purpose of detox! This time, however, I’m committing to it 100 percent — I feel that dirty.

I’ll share the details of the detox program tomorrow since I don’t have the info with me but it’s pretty strict. That’s why I’ve been trying to prepare for it the past two days by avoiding caffeine, eating a lot of fruits and veggies, and cutting back on carbs and sweets. Unfortunately, I have a wicked caffeine headache today, which I’ve never experienced before, feel kind of dizzy or hazy, and I’m craving cookies and bread more than ever.

But it’s only for seven days.

According to the box, that’s all it takes to cleanse the foul chemicals and toxins from my body. They warm you about feeling lightheaded or funny for the first couple days, but I’m not even on the program yet and I’m already feeling weird. I’m a little worried.